pride & relationships

What is Pride? (extracted from http://www.mbowden.surf3.net/pride.htm)

IT IS THE ROOT OF ALL OUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS.

Pride is indeed the most far reaching and subtle of all the seven deadly sins and its insidious and wide ranging ramifications fool many Christians into behaving in sinful ways that they are completely unaware of.

Pride is the fear of ‘LOSING FACE’ . Its is an inordinate concern of what other people think of us. A healthy respect for other peoples view of us is only right, but far too often this becomes a controlling factor in our conduct. The great fear of “losing face”, admitting that we are wrong, peer pressure to conform to the groups attitudes, and many other pressures upon us really determines much more of our of behaviour than most are prepared to admit. Yet often we know that the right thing is to actually speak out against the current opinion. But such is the fear of being ostracised, we say nothing.

Pride is about SHYNESS. It is another means of protecting our central self from being exposed to view. We become so concerned that we do not expose any weaknesses, that we then fail to act in a mature way when occasion demands. But the Bible tells us – “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline” [2 Timothy 1 v 7]. Again we see that it is the fear of what others will think of us that dominates out attitudes and actions. We are too concerned not to expose our inner selves lest our central pride is dented.

Pride is about CRITICISM. One of the severest tests of our Christian humility is the way in which we react to any criticism of our behaviour, from wherever it may come. It is not unknown for a “very fine Christian” to explode in anger at the least hint of criticism. It is so very comforting to be encouraged and praised, but what if we are rightly warned that our attitude is not truly Christian? Are we touchy, inclined to sulk, or grumble about others as a countercharge?

Far from resenting correction, we should actually welcome it as a pointer to the right path for the full Christian life. Proverbs 9 v 8 says “Rebuke a mocker and he will hate you. Rebuke a wise man and he will love you.” If we are corrected, the first reaction should be to check whether it is justified. If it is, then we should be grateful and take steps to put our behaviour right. There may however be a good reason for our actions, and then we should discuss the subject freely and present our case, without rancour or aggressive self-defence.

THE FULL CHRISTIAN LIFE As we have suggested, ultimately all personal stress problems, including fear of others and resentment of criticism, stem from pride. We are worried about what others will think of us or what will happen to us. If we are totally God centred in our life, then we should have no worries on either of these two aspects. As a lesson in acceptance of our situations, whatever they may be, we have Paul’s list of difficulties and dangers in 2 Cor.11 v 23-29, yet despite them all, he was continually active, did not wallow in self-pity and was never ‘depressed’ in the way that many are today.

Ultimately, we all will have to take responsibility for the way in which we have dealt with the problems of life, for this is really what this period of earthly trials is for; the means by which the sword of our faith can be sharpened.

We can all recognise someone with an “open” personality; they are generally the most popular in any group. They are interested in you, and are little put out by slurs or aspertions against themselves, usually ignoring them and refusing to take umbrage. They are said to have an ‘outgoing’ personality and seem to have ‘nothing to hide’. This freedom from fear of others leaves them with much more energy available to use in the service of God towards others. Would that we all aimed at such open and outgoing attitudes to life. Indeed, when we recognise this in others, we begin to see how many of our burdens are self imposed.

Christ has indeed commanded us to “..be perfect..”. As he would not have given such an instruction had he known that we could not change, then surely it is the end towards which we must all strive whilst on this earthly pilgrimage. By dealing with all our problems in a truly Biblical way, we can all, without exception, know even now something of the “..love, joy and peace…” which is the fruit of the Spirit [Gal. 5:22].

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