how do i live without you?

shithole SillyPOre!!!

5 wks since blubber has returned to ‘PAP Lee influenced communistic-land!!’

never once has blubber been really happy with life here.

YES!!! blubber is definitely feeling refreshed not having whale-hunter breathing down my neck each week. its definitely something that is giving blubber lots of space and ‘recharging’ blubber’s PhD career slowly.

but there’s been so many thgs happening around blubber…. since blubber set foot on this tiny shit-hole with most humid weather and ppl with the most primitive and conservative of thinking about life!!! its things like these that hasnt helped at all with blubber settling back in SG.

there’s seriously nothing that will keep blubber back here. everyone here, family and friends have disappointed blubber so much that blubber has lost faith in all of them! they seem to support you only in good times and when u do things that do not conform to ‘their beliefs’ they seem to distance away from you!!!! fuck your beliefs!!! you have your beliefs and i have mine… too bad yours does not conform to mine. so move on!! open up!! and stop being influenced by this communistic society and be dictated by the lee family!

SGreans are indeed the most KAYPO bunch of crap shit pple!! so much so that they want a piece of your life and they want to own it and rule how you live it!!

i say this once again (you know who you are!!): “GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF MY LIFE! DUN TELL ME WHAT TO DO. AND HOW I SHOULD RUN MY FUCKING LIFE!!! YOU ARE EITHER WITH ME OR YOU CAN JUMP SHIP FOR ALL YOU LIKE!! I DUN FUCKING CARE!! IT’S MY LIFE AND I DECIDE HOW I WANT TO LIVE IT. ACCEPT IT!!! YOU ARE WITH ME, YOU ACCEPT WHO I AM AND WHOM I WILL BE WITH!!! TAKE IT OR LIVE IT!!!”

on a brighter note, blubber-job has been fantastic… great opportunities. thats the only thing that is keeping blubber here. if not for this, blubber will take the first boat out of here; regardless of what happens!! NO REGRETS at all till the day ‘harry lee’ dies, blubber will be the first to come back to celebrate!!!!

blubber def misses kangaloo-land heaps!! minus whale hunter of course! blubber is always on the lookout of heading back to kangaoo-land… and ‘disappear into a world of my own’… leaving everything behind here in this unpleasant place… a place i will hold fondest memories of… ‘cept to those pple whom havent been supporting me.. why should i rembr you when u havent even been thru thick and thin with me!! u can get the hell out of my life for all you want. that way you can can take care of your own life and me my own life!!

a toad trapped in a well

feeling like a toad trapped in a well, struggling to return to where i ‘fell’

true feelings i cannot tell, of which honesty will only bring my life more hell.

keeping it and pretending to be happy is the way to go, lest it incur the wrath of many that loves me so.

depressed freak i may seem to be, but am i wrong to really know where i want to be.

loving is all about sharing, but now i really fear about what i am saying.

carefully mincing each words i will, making sure there is a happy element in every conversation.

TRUE happiness it may not be, but least it is what makes true love happy.

feeling trapped and alone, guess i will fight this war alone.